John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude. Every word out of his mouth was belligerent and profane.
John tried and tried to change the parrot's attitude. He spoke to it in a soft, soothing voice. He played it soft music and brought it live crickets. He did everything he could think of, but the parrot just got worse.
Finally, John had had enough. He began yelling at the parrot, and the parrot yelled back. He shook its cage, and the bird swore like Tony Soprano. He covered the cage and the parrot just screamed louder. Finally, he throttled the parrot and threw him into the freezer.
The parrot continued kicking and screeching, and then, suddenly fell silent.
John began to feel guilty. And then more guilty. He opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly walked to the edge and then perched on John’s hand.
“I believe I may have offended you with my behavior,” the parrot said. “I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate speech and actions, and I fully intend to do everything I possibly can to make it up to you. Please try to forgive me.”
John was stunned speechless. Finally, as he was about to ask the parrot just what had occasioned this dramatic change, the parrot continued.
“May I ask,” He said, “what exactly it was that the turkey in there did?”